In its inaugural edition (Winter 2017), the Long Island Literary Journal published two chapters from Mark Spano’s as-yet-unpublished memoir Kidding The Moon.  “Falling in Love with Straight Guys” is the first.


By virtue of his gaze, he has all hills, by virtue of his position, he has all valleys.— Fernando Pessoa from The Book of Disquiet

        Sartre described a “poetic act” in his biography of Genet as “the systematic pursuit of the impossible.” Falling in love with a straight guy was for me a poetic act.

         More than once as a young man I have fallen in love with another young man who was straight, who I knew to be straight. Then and since, I have heard the explanations of choosing what you cannot have as a manner of masochism, a form of self-sabotage. READ MORE…